Challenge Your Inner Voice

Can you relate to my story? The voice in my head says I should be quiet and invisible.

Hi, I am Kyungah Kim, the creator of Beyond Narcissistic Parenting. I’m honored to connect with you through this newsletter.

Here’s a little personal story you might relate to.

I grew up with a mother who I now recognize as having traits of a covert, insecure narcissist. Because of that, I know that inner voice all too well - the one that tells me to stay small, quiet, and invisible, that what I have to offer doesn’t really matter.

Creating Beyond Narcissistic Parenting and sharing my story publicly hasn’t been smooth or easy, because that voice can sound so convincing.

But I’m still here. Years of inner work, along with the support and resources I’ve found as a therapist, have helped me keep going. I still hear that voice, even as I write this (“No one wants to hear about you!”), but I’ve learned to meet it with understanding, re-ground myself, and move forward anyway, because someone out there might need to know they’re not alone.

Healing from the deep wounds of narcissistic parenting often means learning to challenge the inner voice that may echo our parents or the one we created to survive.

Here’s one simple but powerful practice to begin with:

1. Identify the inner messages.

Notice the recurring thoughts that disturb your peace or stir guilt and shame. Write them down. Example: “No one wants to hear what you have to say.”

2. Notice their impact.

How do these voices affect your body and mood? Tense? Foggy? Defeated? Just notice.

3. Pause and ground in the present.

Come back to the present moment by noticing your breaths. Feel your body supported by the ground. Remind yourself: “I’m here now, as an adult.”

4. Explore the intention behind the voice.

This voice isn’t you; it’s a protective part trying to keep you safe from old dangers.

5. Check the validity.

Do you agree with the message? What’s true for you now, based on your values?

6. Affirm your truth.

Would you say this to a dear friend? If not, what would you say instead?

Repeated blows to our self-worth shape how we see ourselves. By questioning these inner voices, we begin to reclaim our own inner authority.